A Product of Pavlov

Sotong

2007-03-27T01:04:00.000+08:00

Mood: Uplifting, like shots of fireworks.
Ambience: Bathing in warm and dull lights of my study room.

Love springs out from where you least expected.

Love can make anyone a better man...simply because...

Love exist.

At 29, I am embarrassed to admit, I am living testimony of these cliches.
Half a decade earlier, I laughed at the possibility of love.

Yet now, when I see him,
Half a year since I held his hand in mine
I still smile with eyes lit like a child who receives a bear for his first time.

I took this test...LOVE TEST

answered 'yes' after 'yes' to those 101 queries.

And as I prepare to bed, I miss him laying by my side in bed.

Miss his sturdy hug and loving gazes.

Never thought i would miss a sotong so...

Writer apologises for any cryptic phrases which readers would not understand. This blog entry, selfishly, was meant only for Sotong J to browse with understanding. The rest of the public can simply voyuer without inside knowledge. Hee...

Sex and the Best Friend

2006-04-03T22:53:00.000+08:00

Sometimes the best barometer of who you have become is the friend who had stuck by your side. He or she, if not they, witness how you might have grown, regressed, deviated or simply remained in neutral gear since the age of growing up begun from your school days. They had seen you at your most innocent, and now, at your most recent and *in whispers* the mask you may or may not have put on in between.

Of course, you have to take what they speak of you sensibly. Friends themselves, too, would have changed over time.

I once, had such a close friend, a very pretty girl. We spoke about what boundaries we set for ourselves that we DO NOT cross when picking dates.

We attached reasons to these boundaries to make us feel legitimate to discriminate. For instance, both of us will move on to next better specimen if our date decides that slippers are alright for a first date: it is akin to the disrespect shown when turning up for a job interview in tee shirt and jeans.

One boundary which we never quite resolve was this: is it possible for long-time friends could become husbands and wives?

Unresolved because we cannot find a convincing reason why we cannot allow that to happen. After all, a relationship is about companionship isn’t it?

What more can you ask for in a companion who would endure the little idiosyncrasies and bad habits as opposed to hiding these from view for fear of getting dumped when it comes to the whole courtship of strangers starting to date?

Not to mention the likelihood of getting dump as a real risk when all those little bad habits and idiosyncrasies surface later in the relationship…Friends simply sees it all! *oh really...everyting...lustful grin*

Me and my pretty friend never quite got make sense why good friends who begun to date sounds repulsive to us. Not even when she broke up with a long time boyfriend, and she had been single for many a month without a date, and we had among our close friend one or two eligible bachelors, and STILL it did not become a shadow of an option.

You can imagine my elation for her when she called me up one day and told me she wished to introduce her recently acquired boyfriend to me. I asked her he better be cute enough for her. I heard some mumbling from behind and she cheerfully replied “My boyfriend thinks he is very cute.”

I returned with a challenge “Ask him out, I want to see how cute he is.”

She agreed and we arranged to meet for dinner at BUGIS.

On that day, I was hyper excited. I turned the corner round the shop houses and found my pretty friend standing there by herself. Coincidentally, one of our classmates from secondary school was there too! I get to see two friends in one meeting: how nice!

I asked “So where is your new cute boyfriend?”
The classmate of ours raised his hand and said “Me.”

*10 second silence on my part*

“Such a joke!” I was hardly making a punch with that remark.
“It’s real…” She asserted.

It took me one whole dinner to absorb the reality. It did help somewhat when my pretty friend showed me her hand phone. Her boyfriend, my classmate, has engraved her name on the mobile as a token of his affection. Sweet... I must admit friends would not flutter your heart in that manner: must be dating.

I wonder if he is as sweet to her when they kiss and…YES! I had a eureka-moment why good friends cannot be good lovers in our eyes. We can’t imagine good friends making love.

Eek!

Or does it have to be eek? Why should sex only make good sense between two unknown strangers falling in love? Why is it so unflattering to think of parents having sex?

If I had not known this friend for so long, I probably would not find the whole dating and sex between friends thingy a revelation as I do now. But because I am so familiar with the girl and the boy too, I am shocked.

Wow! I didn’t know I carry more moral judgment/restrictions with my best of friends more so than strangers. On the account that our friendship has come a long way, we sometimes forget to go back to the premise of what make one another happy as the judging criterion. Some of us have the habit of stereotyping our friends in a very stubborn way.

And sometimes, it takes the romance to blossom between two unlikely characters in our lives to nudge us back to the wonderful uncertainty of life.

Blue Bug

2006-03-17T10:19:00.000+08:00

Mood: Like screaming from the depths of a well but no one is walking by to notice

When a person finds fault with himself
Almost always
The source comes from affection for someone

An uninterested hot date
A fault-finding parent
A defected colleague

People who need people
Like I am
Helplessly so now

My mind repeats a string of thoughts
like fish hooks pulling my heart apart
What would I say if someone asked me to describe my weakness:

Embarrassingly Slim
Plain Ugly
Intellectually Impatient

3 out of 3 of those weakness
I know I can alleviate with my own version
of the Extreme Makeover program

But for now
Like a poet inspired
I shall wallow in my self misery with the life span of a flu bug

Blue bug

It is evident that pain is conditional in this poem. The condition is: if your feelings are disrespected by someone, you feel the pain of self esteem. Likewise, the joy of self esteem may very well be conditional.

See: A Non Sexual Needs

Sensible Spaces

2006-03-16T10:36:00.000+08:00

I had a 4 hour session of intellectual masturbation with a new acquaintance some weeks ago. Unlike physical masturbation, there can be multiple intellectual orgasms without going soft mentally.

We had both visited London. This was but one of the many ignition to another good discussion.

He mentioned he liked the scale of architectural planning in London: the shopping district was composed of short buildings. . As opposed to the intimidation of skyscrapers, it gives an intimate atmosphere, a more delightful shopping experience. I mentioned how the architecture of a city can affect the character of its people.

We discussed the difference during the Chinese New Year in bustling cities: Hong Kong and Singapore.

Homes in HK are so claustrophobically small; hardly anyone looks forward to packing themselves inside for festive occasions. The streets are brewing with people activities. Singapore homes, in contrast, are blessed, spaciously comfortable, and the art of interior design is a national pastime. Festive occasions are best suited to home environment.

If folks in Singapore bear a grudge against a quiet night life, I suggest he could bring a mass orgy home. You won’t get that space to organize one if you fly to Hong Kong without paying for at hotel rate. And if folks in Hong Kong yearn for a quiet evening home, think of all the bustling supper lifestyle you are going to leave behind if you travel down to Singapore to celebrate Chinese New Year for only 2 days instead of a week!

Of Hoffman and Ledger

2006-03-14T13:14:00.000+08:00

Someone asked me if Philip Seymour Hoffman deserved the Oscars after I watched Capote. I do not have sufficient grounds to concur or differ. The only other nomination I had watched was Ledger in Broke Back Mountain.

[By nominations, I refer to those five on the Oscars List among many other powerful performances which had been eliminated from the honor’s roll. If I rummage through the names the judges has discarded, who perhaps would I find among those discarded?]

Between the two, I can say this. Ledger’s performance was not so much a studied homework. Lee Ang seem to have brought out the emotional dimension within Ledger, which mirrored the emotional demon the character was so consumed by. Ledger’s performance was an emotional tour de force, and I had always found emotional tour de force performance, romantic.

Hoffman’s was that of a flawless piece of method-acting with the character. He was mesmerizing to watch, right down to the movement of the pupils of his eyes.

The fleshiest theme in Capote was where do truth ends and lies begin, of which, Hoffman portrayed to such convincing tone, I would think that future impressions of who Capote was may be taking reference from this performance.

Thank god Hoffman once spoke about having a sense of responsibility about the persons you play: the struggle between his morals for the murderers and his manipulative passion for his novel keeps you mesmerized to the end more than the truth behind the murders.

Yet, I had always preferred to think of an actor’s craft as a showcase of the depth of their emotional connection. The more emotional charged his performance, the more emotional investment one could see would exhaust the actor in his portrayal, the more I would tip my vote as a better actor towards his ballot box. Yes I know; I don’t think with my head.

If it is your time to win, it is best to win it without controversy by any segment of the audience, if not, it is best, and not, your time to win: a paraphrase of, Lee Ang’s response to the challenge if he would win Oscars prior to the award ceremony.

Hidden within the laidback tone of Lee Ang’s answer, is a challenge: One which would be thrown to the critics who cast the winning votes. How does one find the uncontested measurement to award a nominee? But of course, Oscars is nothing without contest in the choice of measurement employed to award winners.

The performances used for nomination in the Oscars are limited to a single year. In contrast, one of the surest measurements of an actor’s skill is what film language calls oeuvre. In English, it refers to a collection of work from which we could cite as examples of excellent performances.

If a actor is only brilliant in a single performance, I often wonder if it was the good script, good directing, and good co-actors that carried the excellence for the actor in question. Unless he has consistency in a varied number of previous roles, I wouldn’t be so quick to name an actor a best actor.

Immediately, if oeuvre is the measure of a good actor, then the limitation of a single year turns the Best Actor category in awards ceremonies immaterial. The greatness of an actor is beyond a single Oscars. If oeuvre is the measure of a good actor, therefore to qualify one actor as the better of another, we must study the oeuvre of the other actor too….

You see, being a good critic requires homework done, also. Actors like Hoffman understands the responsibility of actors playing the characters they play; playing critic should carry the responsibility of knowing the works of your actors.

Playing critic requires a humbling heart: only then will you have the thirst to find out thoroughly, and not on your smart-aleck presumptions and assumptions.

*So spank me if u think i am flawed*

Below is a link to a list of works for both Hoffman and Ledger. Do take some time to see how far both have come as actors in their own right.

Ledger
Hoffman

Many blogs are guilty as charged for being fragmentary. The sentence made against blogs are that it is composed whimsically, a reflection of the mood of that particular day.

I will attempt to bring some cohesiveness to my collection of blogs, linking blogs of similar nature so u have breadth ans well as depth browsing.

Paying it Forward

I Stand Corrected

2006-03-04T01:32:00.000+08:00

In the article, TWINS I spoke briefly about the genetic code of a pair of twins being partially different. I stand corrected: identical twins have the same genetic origins, but fraternal ones have difference...genetically speaking. Please read the link on that blog for the appropriate explanation. I had been not careful enough with the accuracy of the topic. Thank you Weiliang!

Skinny Side Up

2006-02-26T17:02:00.000+08:00

Mood: Emancipated

I adore the invention of the term METRO SEXUAL from the core of my skinny bones.

The world has been getting sexier [for some men and most women] since the arrival of the metro-sexual attitude many moons ago. Looking good infected men and good looking men on cover magazine sells.

Men can now sulk over their less than ideal weight and wouldn’t get struck by lightning of masculine protocol for opening the emotional closet for an undaunted vanity to look good.

Finally:

I can now officially hate myself for being too lightweight and could get nods of *I have been there* approval from hunky friends who had graduated from the under 19 BMI community. Also, to try and bring Jason, who brought me to gym, a sense of pride by irritating him the steps necessary to turn me into three quarters of a hunk by the end of 2006.

Here is the emotional demon haunting what I think of my weight:

I am a bottomless pit for junk food. But I am also an ectomorph! *smirk*.

For every calorie I eat, probably only 0.1 of it gets deposited into good use in the body. The mystery of my life is explaining the other 0.9-mulitply by-28 years of my life-mulitply by-all the meals I ate in one year calories. For those who are nodding in empathy, writer *waves excitedly* and shouts out “Hi! I want to hear from you…”

This is a snapshot of my ectomorphic torso.

Whoever says that being an ectomorph is fun has to be those with BMI more than 19 like forever! Imagine if my body was a bank, and calories represent client’s money, I would have been liable to be sued for unaccountability for most of the caloric-funds. But even if the management embezzles funds in a bank, you at least know that the money has been put to hedonist end! But mine… NO!

I am like a high maintenance refrigerator that talks back to you….

I think slim and skinny people are far more likely to be neglected than people on the opposite end of the weighing scale. If I am obese and I declare a weight loss program, I will receive *thank god u see the light!* nods of approval and can rally my friends to discipline me into shape. Of course, it can help if they tease about your size to anger you into inspiration.

If I am slim and announce a weight gain program, there would be a temporary silence accompanied by *are u sure u need this?* stare, and u can bet on them to indulge me with “it’s ok if u fail to gain, for u r not obese or anything!” answers when I complain that the program is unfruitful….

I don’t want to be slim, my friends. The next time we meet up, surprise me with thoughts about how I can overcome my very lanky physique.

Uber sexual is as much a state of your mind as it is a state of my yearnings. Essentially, imagine a man who is in touch with his manly side, yet sensitive enough to connect emotions...put my face on it!

Cheers!

Paying It Forward

2006-02-17T21:15:00.000+08:00

I trust in the powers of paying it forward. If I have been touched in my heart or received an act of kindness, I'll return it or pass it on. Broke Back Mountain has inspired so many voices to come forward to reach out to touch our hearts. I am but one among the sea of voices. Yet, like little Trevor McKinney in Paying It Forward: “sometimes, the simplest idea can make the biggest difference.”

***

Straits Times

The Straits Times is the matriarch of news in Singapore. For many years before the recent few, she is the only official storyteller Singapore has had. In contrast to cities with as many newspaper voices as there are musicians in an orchestra, news for Singaporeans is a single voice, strait-jacket tailored for benefit of the majority.

Broke Back was given cover page in the Straits Times lifestyle section: I felt a warm pat on my shoulders easing the weight of my sexuality I had carried silently for almost three decades now.

Warm because stories of me and my fellow brothers are now in the company of Hollywood mainstream film and Straits Times acknowledged that milestone in cinematic history.

Straits Times has set forth a chain reaction: out of the 3 million Singaporeans with access to the newspaper, how many will receive Broke Back with acceptance?

I have confidence it wouldn’t be hard. Regardless of the merits and de-merits of the film itself, I was inspired to dare think so, for a good straight crowd turned up at the preview last week.

Quote from LIFE!

“A straight guy like me wept buckets at this movie about the sweet romance…I haven’t cried at movies where boy breaks up with girl. Not even when boy breaks up with girl and the dog dies, the car is repossessed and the ship sinks…But this story, about two men who loved one another to pieces-it really moved me”

“The reason Broke Back Mountain has been hailed as such a breakthrough is precisely because the scriptwriters and Lee have depicted such a central gay experience in the language of straight romantic cinema.”

For more eulogies of Broke Back, click here. But do indulge sensibly; you won’t want to be carried away by unfounded sweet talk.

Yoga Editing

If you goggle Broke Back, there would be, at least ten pages of, resources to quench your thirst on the following topics: the sensitive yet sensible Jack Twist, your anguished sympathy for Alma and the romantic motif of the cowboy shirts.

I would like to be odd, and talk about yoga editing.
Yoga editing is not an offical cinematic term; i coined it out of frivolity. More precisely, Lee Ang used it on Broke Back, and I shamelssly named it for him.

The concept starts with this:

When you breathe in a meditative speed, slow and steady, as practiced in yoga, your mind opens up and calms down. If and when you are calm, you tend to receive sensitive/controversial news such as sexuality and love with open arms and less defensively.

How does Lee Ang make you breath meditatively in the movie?

First consider the following two sentences:
1. A short sentence is easy to read.
2. Unless there is an unfortunate opportunity for the writer to choose to pen a sentence as long as is found in the literature of Jane Austen to the laborious effect of making an otherwise brief idea ostentatiously adorned with protracted language.

When we read a book, we mentally breathe when we arrive at the end of a sentence. Sentence 2 requires the lungs of Mariah Carey to finish reading.

We take a mental breath, too, in the movie. Each time the movie cuts to a new scene, we take a mental breathe as if we read a full stop.

If each scene takes less than 5 seconds before cutting to the next, as you may experience in the final sequence of any Indiana Jones movie, your adrenalin pumps, and you are ready for rush hour.

On the contrary, if the editing is slow and steady as with Broke Back, you never need to feel rushed to do anything more than just meditate the visual scenes into your head.

I think too much about film techniques, though not apologetic if I make films too technical to your taste.

Other blogs of similar cinematic observations are:
0205
Movie of the Week
9 Reasons

A Man's Diary of Non Sexual Needs

2006-02-11T08:58:00.000+08:00

What a man needs is health;
Well-paid, congenial employment;
A house; a modicum of wealth;
Some sunlight; coffee and the papers;
Artichoke hearts adorned with capers;
A Burberry trench coat; a Peugot;
And in the evening, some [Wagner]
Or [Elgar]; a home-cooked dinner;
A Stilton, and a little port;
And so to a duvet, In short,
In life's brief game to be a winner
A man must have...oh yes, above
All else, of course, someone to love

0205

2006-02-05T15:32:00.000+08:00

You have 10 seconds to recall any passer-by that made a difference in your life.

If not, at least one person you forgot shall spontaneously combust within 10 seconds.
*Ha! Who cares!* Kidding!

Movie Empress
Like the short brilliance of fireworks, for a few of the passer-by in your life, you will not only remember them, but remember them with ‘ooh!’ and ‘ah!’ Some time ago, an older man marked his 205th film for the year by the time I chatted him up in person….

205 films translate to about 4 movies per week, and if any particular week has less than 4 films premiering, he would be doing at least 5 movies in 7 days!

205: that is the number of times I should be having sex every year. That is my national obligation for the year. Citizens of Singapore are accused of a low humping frequency, only once a week the official number cries! I plan to change that in 2006.

Enjoying sex is starts from listening with your heart to the needs your partner and execute the changes necessary to keep the humping from turning routine. But I digress….

Are You A Movie Lover?
For 2005, I am surely way behind schedule of hitting the 205th film. I visited the movie theatre only 30 times in 2005. Even if we begin counting from 2002, I would still have to round it off to the nearest 100. [Upper 100]

Yet, the number 205 is not insane. On the contrary, don’t you think that this man’s devotion for going to the movies is of the purest form? Even a little romantic!

If you think about it, watching at that frequency of 4 or more films a week, what would be the chances of sitting through a disappointing movie or a B grade film?

Many film goers can claim they are devoted to movies.

Art Film Connoisseur
Art film aficionados have devotion, for instance, but they would make an informed selection of what to watch and give B-grade movies a miss.

Not that art film lovers don’t watch B movies…perhaps on a day off, lazing at home, in their’s favorite armchair, a B grade popped on TV…they think ‘Why not!’

But art film aficionados get a kick out of carefully selected film screenings. To quote the Martell advertising campaign slogan: ‘Only few can tell’. Not many ‘commoners’ have an eye to distinguish films that are gems from those that are of entertainment value. If you prefer Eat Drink Man Woman to Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon [both of which are Lee Ang’s works] you probably are on the right track as a film aficionado.

And then, there are the Mr. and Ms. Political Statement.

I refer to the person who chooses a film to make a statement about who he/she is and how he/she thinks, and they adhere to it like a political directive.

I have a friend who refuses any top grossing film. He brushes off Titanic the same way Madonna dismissed the music of Celine Dion many moons ago. He thinks that blockbusters are for the ‘common multitudes’ [to quote Shakespeare] or in English ‘because everyone else is going to watch it!’

Non-mainstream gems like Sin City and Taxi would be the best movies to quote if you want to date this intelligent Eurasian friend of mine.

Branded Stuff
Of course, there are many reasons why we watch the films we watch.

Some of us who are adamant that using your head in the movie defeats the fun that movie is supposed to be entertaining.

While some of us get in to the theatre for big brands names such as Brad Pitt and Maggie Cheung.

But the dude with 4 tickets stubs at the end of the week, every week…other than a sore butt, this person would need more than reasons to watch. To risk, week after week, the chances of dozing in boredom, or shrieking out of disgust, what would be the winning formula to make it through all those bad films?

*Drum roll!*, you need tolerance, and in heavy dosage.

Most of us will never adopt half the tolerance to hit 205th movie a year simply because, for most of us, we choose what we want to see and ignore those which do not fit into our comfort zone. Not to mention choosing friends who enjoy the films you enjoy!

If you seriously want to break out of your comfort zone in movies, go date that friend who has been watching all those films you had not ventured into. I had been pleasantly surprised, so would you.

The End.

Thoughts of the Hour

2006-01-24T17:50:00.000+08:00

In the morning train, a coach load of dazed commuters doing nothing, very quiet, hardly any perceptible indication that these folks appreciate the start of a new day. The exception, foreigners: Chinese and workers from Bangladesh, energetically talking about the events for the day already. I have a sudden pang of fear that Singaporeans would one day be at the mercy of these chirpy foreigners? Or maybe the Singaporean spirit takes a longer time to wake up to the smell of the morning sun…Before I could observe further, I doze off into a nap...*zzz zzz zzz*.

Wake up and see the good looking things in life!

Movie of the Week

2006-01-23T21:12:00.000+08:00

5 Senses
5 characters, each, representing 5 senses. 5 senses, each, revealing the story behind these 5 characters.

I love this film because with the introduction of every new character, you start to guess which of the 5 senses he or she represents, like a detective. You pay attention to their body language: a far cry from spectacular visual effects and DVD-quality sound effects which has become the focus of film experience these days. It is not a film for those pampered by CGI or bullet-quick bitching dialogues. Yet, for those who watch art films, you will find the pace of this movie surprisingly, and pleasantly, quicker than the really artsy ones.

I think the film paid attention to the use of personal and social distance to tell the story. If you people-watch in public places, such as the subway, you can tell how close two people are by how close they stand apart from one another. If two persons are less than half a meter away from one another, they would be intimate, even if the persons are two guys. In this film, the camera captures the characters from more than a meter away most of the time, and in some scenes, captures the characters in motion from at least 3 meters away. The audience is never meant to become personally attached to each of the characters but maintain a overall picture in their head about what each character represents in terms of the 5 senses.

Therefore, for those who prefer your film to be anchored in a single characater that will drive the plot through, this film will leave you impatient. Dialogues are hardly brilliant. The emphasis of this film is in the mood and feeling of the characters. I admit these emotions hadn't been always been clearly conveyed, making me wanting a little more coherence in the story telling. This film is in its bones a film of the mood.

The rest of this article is only useful to those who would not watch the film and those who had already gotten to enjoy this film. For if you do want to watch, you won’t like the spoilers here.

HEAR: What would you most want to hear before going deaf? In the movie, the eye doctor chose the churning sound of crashing sea waves, the drumming beat of the railway track and the rhythmic pulse of a person’s heartbeat. All of which are daily ‘noises’ which goes unappreciated.

If you are going deaf, will you become so obsessed with listening that you forget how to live life? The eye doctor was utterly obsessed until, a woman whom he sleeps with reminds him that he still can ‘listen’ with other senses despite losing hearing. Through the lost of hearing among the 5 senses, the film reminds you not to lose sight of what is important in life. It seems hearing was not meant to listen for things. It was meant for listening to relationships.

SMELL: A bisexual man whose house-keeping occupation demands him to remove odor from homes is actively searching for a scent of love. To use smell to find the right guy or girl is a direct violation of the intellectual rules which he uses to eliminate those whom are not eligible to date. Intellectually, he would advise us not to date a person who is too good-looking or is attached already. Yet, he found his scent of love in the most unlikely circumstances: from one of his client, who is such a cute man and, who is also married to a woman.

He accepted the scent of love over his intellectual rules for love. Can you make that leap of faith too?

TOUCH: I am keeping this entry, and the next three, short. I would not want to give too much of the film away. What I can say is this: Touch is a powerful tool for physical healing in the hands of a masseur but it can be a powerful tool for healing of the heart in the hands of a family member bearing an emotional grudge for the longest time.

SIGHT: It is amazing how this character in the movie can ‘see’ who you are inside when it isn’t apparent at all on your outside. A memorable dialogue from this story: People can have sex with people they don’t necessary like, sometimes they just want sex; you can tell by where they put their eyes when they are having sex.

TASTE: This story involves the prettiest girl and the cutest guy in the film. Their story is the most important to me because of the way it ended. So many of us are afraid to taste the reality of life. If there was a baker who never tastes her cake, what do you think would make her face the truth about her cakes and taste it?

So rent ‘5 Senses’, though not exactly a steal, just watch it.

I studied film when I was in university. I have a mild addiction to journalize about films and sometimes itch for job opportunities to research and/or write about film, I am blatantly telling you to interview me for the job…now. Freelancing is not an issue. Is anyone keen?

A Typical Unemployed Day

2006-01-17T12:25:00.000+08:00

Woke up at ten in the morning…2 hours later than planned but, hardly bothered…after teeth-brushing, gulped down 2 full cups of water…my body thirsts for replenishment after hours of sleep…checked on my orchid and conifer plants…heaved a small sigh for my orchid has lost two third of her bloom over a week now…

Picked out a black polo-tee and blue Bermudas and headed out for late breakfast with a stack of used newspaper for disposal…everyday since 2006 begun, I would gather things to throw away and everyday there is something new screaming at me to be discarded…

Breakfast was sweet corn soup with sweet and sour fish rice, at the 24-hour air-conditioned food court nearby…kicking off the day with a big breakfast is one of those resolutions I promised myself at the start of this year…

Dropped off a comforter for cleaning, sent a good library book for photocopying AND went to bank to request for financial documents but was freaked out by the queue…called the bank hotline to enquire alternative option to request but was placed on hold, again…what the heck!...sealed request in envelope and slipped it into cheque deposit box and headed for the MRT…

Sometimes I waste time away staring at other commuters taking the MRT but I can’t on this particular trip…had a pile of letters, stacked with bills, statements and junk, all twelve of them I had to separate the rubbish from the priority…by the time I had organize them neatly, I had to get off train to take a bus to the swimming pool…

Did 12 laps but quickly got irritated by my pair of good-looking goggles that keep misting up with water and immediately, I decided to replace it…as an unemployed man, there is no excuse I don’t have time to maintain a fit body…and catch a glimpse of a gorgeous boy in green trunk when I was leaving…

This is my new goggles!

On the bus-trip to a meal at SUNTEC, I confirmed an eye acuity and colour test examination in preparation for the cadet pilot interview on Friday…this interview must be the best reward from investing in a LASIK surgery last September…

After my fish soup rice, I bumped into a friend whom I forgotten his birthday…since I found no hole to hide my embarrassment, I congratulated him with my down-to-earth-friendship handshake…made a beeline to Chinatown to confirm the flight changes to my Hong Kong trip, and thereafter, embarked on my trip to read Japanese newspaper at the National Library...

A text message from a best friend deleted my trip to read Japanese…took the train to meet him for dinner at CHANGI…one of the biggest yet delicious fried chicken wing and wanton noodles can be found at the food market at CHANGI…

Was momentarily distracted by two cute commandos, but my friend and I soon directed ourselves back into our discussion on how some food stalls leverage/leech on the reputation/credibility of an established food outlet and rub off a decent following just by imitating the authentic stall and opening right next to it…conversation cut short…met my uncle coincidentally…

At home, I bathed a second time…the first at the swimming pool which somehow did not quite scrub off the feverish effect of residual chlorine…tidied my wardrobe while watching the final three on Project Runway…based on his collection, a showcase of his quirky but intelligent personality, Jay won fair and square…

Llearnt how to type in Japanese from an adorable IT guru…chatted with a Hong Kong friend about favorite foods, munched on Danish cookies, blogged THIS entry and browsed latest tennis news at the Australian Open, all at the same time…sleepy, with head crashing towards keyboard…good night

And that concludes my uneventful day...

Habit of the Month

2006-01-13T22:08:00.000+08:00

Quiet Spaces in Public Places

For three times already this past week, at about 530 pm, I would sweep into the National Library, charge for the NIHON KEIZAI newspaper, snuggle comfortably on a divan and, simply, read. This is my latest habit for 2006.

You would know by nosing around 20 Japanese Keeps Insomnia Away that I am studying Japanese. But browsing for juicy articles and happening events in Japan in the newspaper was more than just an effective tool to improve Japanese. The trip to the library is therapeutic.

Think of a place you can shut your yakking friend or boss up just by entering it. The library! It is not only an effective and free escape from any annoying, talking machine; it is my recommendation that you visit this quiet space daily before you head home from work…not to mention somehow people are just cuter when they are not talking.

Research in Germany made the discovery that a man’s right brain is still busy replaying events at work even after work to the unfortunate degree that the left brain which rules communication [including with your family whom are waiting eagerly for you at home] is put on hold, Find a favorite quiet spot in the library and take time to think your day through.. Do that as a favor to your family or boyfriend or lover.

I love to hangout in the library. In fact, I went to 2 libraries today: went to the first for the Japanese newspaper, the second at PASIR RIS as a waiting lounge while my sister drives to meet me for dinner.

Many, many moons ago I ‘lived’ in a library while preparing for the A Levels. That was the Stamford Library, a red-brick building a stone’s throw away from the National Museum of Singapore. This historical building was a baby to many Singaporeans, some of whom turned up to witnessed its closure. It passed into history forever to give way to a road to ease traffic. It went away a noble cause. I had no other reasons to believe it had to be demolished.

Twins

2006-01-11T01:45:00.000+08:00

I have a gay friend who has a straight twin. I was intrigued. If one twin was gay, by the logic of genetics, isn’t his twin…gay too? This friend cited he, also, had a pair of friends, twins: one gay, but the other straight. *gasp of fascination*

Perhaps then…The genetic code that made twins identical was not the part of the DNA that dictated sexuality. That belonged to the genetic code that distinct one twin from the other. Thumbprint is the classic difference which shares this segment of the DNA with sexuality. Being gay, it seems, is what makes a person special the way a thumbprint makes him unique.

For those who are under the illusion that homosexuality is a product of bad parenting or child molestation, kindly refer to the Biological Basis of Homosexuality. [Have to allow pop-up for this site]

Dialogue of the Day

2006-01-05T23:04:00.000+08:00

Occassionally, this writer has a no-brainer entry...

M: Me

N: A good female friend.

M: “Woman! How are you?”
N: “Not good, I am twenty.”

*Eyes widen in disdain* This writer is celebrating his 9th year anniversary of turning 20 already.

M: “I’ll be 30 soon! And if I get there, I’ve got to get BOTOX. Hey, do you also have sensible alternative to conceal enlarged pores”
N: “Mask! I have wrinkles at twenty, man!”

M: “Have you heard of a gel product that can conceal enlarged pores the way foundation can”
N: “No man. Got way to remove wrinkles??”

M: “Other than BOTOX? I made a pact with this friend who has the authority to stab me to death if wrinkles are not erasable…You may want to consider.”
N: “But, but, but I’m still a virgin.”

M: “Hmmm. Virgin and wrinkles is a fatal combination which requires extreme makeover!”
N: “Call them! Or…or call J [the boy she has a crush on]…Is he attached?”

M: “Not sure. He was with a friend when he came up to say hi. A guy friend”
N: “Oh…You should meet him someday where I canl very conveniently appear.”

M: “Hmmm. Given the history of your past failures at convenient encounters, I don’t think that will ever become an option”
N: “NO! It has changed, I’m sure. I can feel it.”

What else but the pursuit of youth and intimacy that turns us to delusional cows. And I think that if youth and intimacy can be said using a picture, it should look like this.

The Penis Poem

2006-01-03T20:44:00.000+08:00

Some advice should never goes out of style or relevance...especially if it reminds one not to take yourself for granted. Of course, nobody minds if it is given with a dosage of good humour ya?

>>> My nookie days are over
>>> My pilot light is out
>>> What used to be my sex appeal
>>> Is now my water spout
>>>
>>> Time was when, on its own accord
>>> From my trousers it would spring
>>> But now I've got a full-time job
>>> To find the blasted thing
>>>
>>> It used to be embarrassing
>>> The way it would behave
>>> For every single morning
>>> It would stand and watch me shave
>>>
>>> Now as old age approaches
>>> It sure gives me the blues
>>> To see it hang its little head
>>> And watch me tie my shoes

But of course, men are more than his penis. *gasp of disbelief and shock from jaded women*
Surely, isn’t it? *the wisest male species nods appovingly*
Take this poem and expand it imaginatively to other body parts which may crash like the nookie.

Seriously, do go for an annual physical check up
All fellow members of the male species!
You must always be a step ahead of your wearied body parts
They seldom give u alternative plan if you let them "take permanent leave"

Tip: If you can never remember when you last went for your dental check up or take blood test or review your cardiographs, just consolidate all those tests into one full medical check up on your birthdate. You can't possibly forget your birthdate ya? But of course if you do forget, you will have friends who would remind you of it with gifts or wishes ya? And if you don't have friends, use your calendar function on your mobile. And if do not have a mobile *sigh* you want to get a life?

Flower Power 2

2005-12-29T22:34:00.000+08:00

Mood: immersed in the dramatic overtures of Phantom of the Opera

CONIFER [See Blog-entry dated Dec 05, 2005]
AGE: 3 weeks old
HEIGHT: 11.5 inches [0.5 inches taller]
CONDUCT: shedding grain-sized acorns
by the bucket; the cutest thing
to sit inside my window sill.
TIP: this breed of conifer do not scorch
under direct sunlight, so allow it to drink
up the warmth of the sun!

Be wary of what you say: You never know when you have to eat your words *lor*. [See Blog-entry dated Dec 05, 2005 for what this writer accused about flowering plants] I introduced an orchid sister to my conifer. Why had I overlooked this breed of flower?

FENGSHUI TIP: For those born in the year of the SNAKE, place a plant that has red/purple bloom, such as orchid, is rumored to encourage luck in romance. Unlike GARDENIA, my orchid baby is as much a breeze as care-taking for my conifer. There are pretty things which aren’t a pain in the ass.

ORCHID
AGE: A week old
BLOOM: 23 [9 more from date of purchase]
CONDUCT: standing prettily immediately behind my front door, welcomes me home with her reddish-purple bloom.
TIP: even though orchids adore moist conditions, its roots ain't too happy sitting in water or very moist soil...use charcoal instead of soil in pots...charcoal absorbs water and time-release it as moisture!

*Which plant shall I bring in to accompany the existing two?* anyone with an informed suggestion: perhaps an herbal one, such as basil or dill?

Christmas

2005-12-27T00:02:00.000+08:00

VENUE: Home
WHATS ON: Ocean’s 11

Of all the festive occasions, Christmas warms my heart most. *3 seconds of the ‘am-I-sure’ frown* 100% Yes!

Perhaps because Christmas is a celebration I wasn’t born into. Chinese New Year is an event I enjoy by the colour of my skin; birthday [the perfect excuse to turn narcissistic] is…was the product of my parent’s decision or pleasure or both. Ideally, my birth date would either be 16th September or 29th September so I could be blessed either with the social charisma Minister Lee Kuan Yew had or the good looks that made Won Bin hot. Delusional Cow, I am!

Christmas, very simply, I chose to celebrate it. Yes, I am talking about those of you who had received a present and/or text messages that goes beyond those over-sent greetings. "Thank you!" You had given to me, sometimes more than I deserved. This song speaks my mind at this instance:

"Nothing comes from nothing

nothing ever could,

So somewhere in my youth or childhood

I must have done something good"

*Teary-eyed…reach for tissue…wipe away the extra-spicy sauce of the corners of mouth..continue to munch on favourite fried chicken*

X’MAS EVE

Kicked off the day with the exchange of gifts with a good friend over an expensive MOS BURGER lunch…gave him a CD which he recently bought *dramatic gasp*…received a miniature MENTHOS sweet dispenser that reads “Sperm Balls”...*dramatic i'm-not-sure-what-to-say pause*...I hoped he liked his lousy present as much as I found mine cute!

Spent a brief hour shopping along the funky district at BUGIS…old age worn us down…rooted ourselves inside a café and tried to revive our [late-20’s] old bones with tea…and we came to an agreement that we prefer people watching at FAR EAST…our cuties are all there…[Yup! Good friends make cheap thrills fun!]

Are you a Bernese Mountain Dog?

2005-12-18T14:47:00.000+08:00

According to Which Breed of Dog Are You, I am a…

Bernese Mountain Dog

No bones about it, you're a good-hearted, people-loving Bernese Mountain Dog. Down-to-earth and loyal, no one works or plays harder than you do. You put your nose to the grindstone when it really counts, but you never neglect your social calendar. Simultaneously strong and sweet, you're very tuned-in to the feelings and needs of the other dogs you run with. Without having to be asked, you always have a helping paw to lend and a sympathetic shoulder to lean on. "Communication" is your middle name, and when that's paired with your unswerving devotion, you get a breed that everyone respects and trusts. Woof!

Do me a favour. Go for the test; Tell me which dog you are. Aren’t you curious what kind of dogs are out there, reading the same writer’s blog as you are? Your match in heaven may be out there reading this now…So place a comment on which dog you are, and who knows u might be this lucky care bear!

My Chinese Otanjoubi

2005-12-17T15:49:00.000+08:00

VENUE: Bedroom
MUSIC: Swaying to *Day Break*

This Lisa Ekdahl's piece articulates my mood most aptly when I am in a good one. In a good mood, my mind has a sense of clarity. Therefore I realise that six posting have gone by, and this very writer has not satisfied curiosity with the 'must-have' introduction of himself.

*shy shy smile* Do I need to?... ... ...*silence*... ... ...Very well, I will take silence as consent *wink*

I was born in the year of the Fire Snake [1977], in the month of Taurus [May] and in the day of the Fire Rat [19th]

For those of you with a thirst for Chinese astrology, seeking to find out accurately which day horoscope you are, you need two tools to help you.

FIRST TOOL: You need a Western-Chinese Calendar Converter. Input your birth date, and it will assign 2 Chinese characters each to your birth year, month, day and hour. This would be the 8 CHARACTER that Chinese has used to chart a person’s character for many moons before Christopher Columbus even discovered America. Please choose a calendar converter based on the Gregorian Calendar unless you are more than 423 years old. In that case, I'm afraid you are a product of the Julian Calendar instead.

The Western horoscope has its own devise to translate your birth year, month, day and hour. But instead of 8 CHARACTER the Western astrology has 12 HOUSES. I have decided against using the Western horoscope because of a [how shall I say this nicely] complication. There are actually 13 star signs and not just 12, as conventional wisdom has dictated. The 13th sign sits between Libra and Scorpio, is known as the Serpent Bearer. This complication draws throbbing pain to my lazy mind, and I turn to the Chinese horoscope with comfort, and without such arithmetic complications.

SECOND TOOL: The HEAVENLY STEM and EARTHLY BRANCHES charts. These 2 charts convert your 8 CHARACTER into familiar concepts such as Yin and Yang, the Five Elements: Metal, Wood, Water, Fire, Earth and the 12 animal signs. By now, you will have enough information to calculate [apply common sense if all else fails] any types of compatibility, from date to job.

ADVANCE TOOL: If you are looking for a good relationship compatibility, the horoscope of your birth year is the least important. The horoscope of your day is the information you need. Followed by the month you were born. Even the hour you crashed into this world is prior to the year in importance. There is a system of logic behind this importance but I am too lazy to post it here. You would have to take my word for it.

ILLUSTRATION: I am born in the day of a Rat. In Chinese animal signs compatibility, the number 6 is a big no-no unless you have a taste for Potter-Malfoy sadism. I would be wise to avoid a person born in the day of a Horse which is 6 animal signs away.

You don’t need a fortune teller to chart your 8 CHARACTER. You only need me. *Count Dracula laughter* Dare you to give your birth details to me to translate. Of course, subjected to avaliability of time and how politely you ask...

Fly Me To The Moon

2005-12-16T14:01:00.000+08:00

VENUE: Living Room, watching a re-run of ALIAS
MOOD: Unemployed, sulky.

I love jazz. Doris Day's rendition of Fly Me To The Moon brushes away most of the stress of the day. I love to sing along with her. Sadly, I sound like Phoebe [from F.R.I.E.N.D.S] but blessed with EQ. I am aware of other pairs of ears around me. I can shut up and content myself with mere listening...*9 seconds later*...Think i better keep my mouth occupied with ice cream, some berries and chocolate thrown in.

I am not terribly fond of Christmas this year. I have no date to affectionately kiss at the stroke of midnight or none to cuddle alongside 2 cups of warm coffee. I had no date last year. Still, I had a fruitful Christmas 2004. I was working in my cafe last year, celebrating my customers' Christmas. Gave this couple a pair of perfume; and this other pair of children, special kid's XMAS meals. This year, I am jobless and dateless for Christmas. How hopeless can it get beyond this?

9 Reasons

2005-12-11T22:42:00.000+08:00

I am a film director. I name the movie, you follow my direction and watch it. I haved included reasons why you should watch the films, *of course!* but mostly, so you have a excuse to feel intelligent about it. My reasons are subjective and are a product of my belief/delusion that I KNOW films well. You may choose to doubt my reasons, but I am a film director. I name it, you watch it. The best cinematic experience is to go watch a film you are not familiar with, enjoy the throbbing sensation of not knowing what you are going to get. Trust me.....

DISCLAIMER! Some of the pictures are not snapshots of the movies listed here. They are good looking nevertheless.

1. Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain, Le: If there is a modern fairy-tale you should indulge in, reward yourself to this romantic masterpiece. You'll love the actress, her story and all the colours that comes with it. [See Picture, Left] if you find at least one metaphor of yourself in any of Amelie's encounters, *congratulations!* you are human after all!

2. Persona: As complex as Ulysses is to Literature in the genre of film, you will appreciate a 'normal' film better OR grow to become picky about 'normal' film thereafter... ...if not, at least you know the inspiration behind ABBA's music video!

3. Silence of the Lambs: Bloodthirsty suspense. If you want to know how to edit a film to outwit your audience, analyze this one. *You may want to use this film to prepare the faint-hearted for surgical elements*

4. Grave of the Fireflies: If you want to know how children cope in the climate of war....Or simply cast a change from Uncle Sam-manufactured animations....Please watch!

5. Gosford Park: Watch this closely and you realise that there isn't any scene where the characters are alone. As long as you are willing to watch it beyond the murder mystery, you will witness a finely-tuned commentary on how people are constantly monitored by their social status in spite of who they really are.

6. Teaguki: Won Bin. The beautiful actor who is the first to make it socially acceptable for a man to cry, to display tears as affection, in Korea. And for the rest of the world, it is OK if you have a big brother to protect and pamper you, especially in the context of war. How romantic!

7. La Chambre de Officiers: In the event that a war makes a man disfigured, what becomes of him? We have films that honours heroes who died in the line of duty, and some, thankfully, become classics we remember about. What about those that appreciate those who are in physical or emotional truama because of war. Few become classics memories in this theme. I hope this one is!

8. Se7en: If you want to stir up interest about the importance of the deadly sins, why don't you mention Brad Pitt is inside this one. And the masterful pace of the storytelling will do the rest. And remember to watch it twice to catch how many times the villian was right there at the crime scene but went unnoticed!

9. Brazil: This film is bizzare. Go watch and persuade me otherwise.

Ground Hog Date

2005-12-09T20:36:00.000+08:00

VENUE: Undiscolsed but trust me, it is cursed!
MOOD: Love is Going...

DISCLAIMER: The story is true but the names has been changed to protect the embarrassed and closeted.

Once upon a time, about eight weeks ago, there was a Prince Manabu who wished upon his Conifer plant. [Read Blog dated 5 Dec 2005 Flower Power] He prayed to find a worthy prince, bring him home, and look after one another happily ever after. The Prince kicked off 3 blind dates with such a heck of a 'Cinderella-Dream'. So far, it all ended in 'Shrek-Reality'.

PART 1: TWO's A DATE, THREE IS...WHAT THE HELL?!

During a 2 hour conversation

Date No.3: "I like the center room of your house more than
your chic bedroom because I can see a display of books."
Prince: "Ah! But i have 4 wooden crate of good books hidden in
my chic..." [interrupted]
Date No. 3: "Because the room I have now has fucked up setting
in that I have no shelves to impress with a shelf
of books....By the way, I'm attached."
Prince: *eyes darted in surprise. Vaguely, a scene from Desperate Housewifes flashed across his mind. But before he could put a finger to the ass of that thought...*

Date No. 3: "But I hope you don't ask me anything about what
I just said...'cos if it is OK with you...I won't
want to answer..."
Prince: [grab hair with one hand] "Of course it is not OK..."
Date No. 3: "I hope we can still be platonic friends"

Prince: [bedroom starst to spin] *of course! we just did IT to become platonic friends! makes utter sense, of course!* BUT the Prince instead said "Yeah...Partly 'cos I won't want to be the other guy"

It turns out on two occasions, his dates already has their princes.

*Darn! Think i have got to start drinking heavily soon. Wait a minute! I should stalk them both and force a sum to keep all our bedroom liasion quiet. Then, I could use those money to drink even more heavily...*

There is a second half to this tale. It is too much like a tabloid to post. You know, sex...and more sex. But if u are privately curious or simply want to finish what I started, write in with your mail address.

20 Japanese Keeps Insomnia Away

2005-12-06T21:32:00.000+08:00

VENUE: On a noisy MRT train heading home
MOOD: People can't help but stare at owner's of foreign language story books

It takes 10 new, Japanese words to bring me into a foul mood. Learning another 10 in a day puts me to sleep. I suck at studying hard. [Yes, I know.] I break out in cold sweat thinking how I had to be in constant trauma when I was learning not one, but two languages as a child.

When I first began to have interest in the Japanese language, it was not about the language at all. I wanted to look smart and cute in the Japanese school attire. [See Picture: If you have a sharp eye, the 4 young men are laughably too old to be in school. So am I. They still look smart and cute in it. Now that is the point...pause for dramatic emphasis]

***

Yet, a year and a half, and roughly 3000 Japanese vocabulary later, I am still reading the language. I have my reason to be intellectually masochistic. No, it has nothing to do with uniform. [Maybe a little still *wink*] It has to do with insurance.

When I pass the Elementary Level in Japanese, it was like paying the first premium in insurance. I was feeling good about myself and thought enthusiastically about how, one day, I will get to use it for my own benefit.

Intermediate and Advance Level came, passed and went. By now, I feel exhausted in the same way I feel spent paying for the insurance premium. I begin to realised how far away I am before I get to converse fluently with a Japanese man the same manner the matured amount in insurance can seem so far away half way through paying for it.

Still, it was intellectual suicide to stop and forfeit all the premium already paid. And so *Drum Roll!* I took the Japanese Language Proficiency Test Level 2 on 4th DEC 2005...can bet on having NO date for Christmas that I will fail it...needed to take it to give me a direction to keep working towards. If not, I'll content to watch anime on Arts Central... ...*Heart Breaker!!!!*

This is my testimony to anyone who is struggling to give up learning a third language. Being masochistic in this course of action will bring you satisfaction...not to mention cute uniform...But I'm beginning to find Korean students looking a lot cuter. Now how? *User proceed to surf for sites on Korean language*...........

If you have a tip or two on speaking chic Japanese, won't you be so kind to post it up?

Flower Power

2005-12-05T02:10:00.000+08:00

VENUE: Balcony @ Home
MOOD: Aged, but hormones keeps me disgruntedly awake STILL

A week ago, I came home with her [See Specimen picture, left] She is a member of the conifer family. Her cousin is the pine tree, and size does matter here. I would hate to lug a 10 footer baby tree home; when I can get them cute at 12 inches...oh la la? She inserts easily into my classic blue scandinavian vase.

I adore that she is not high-maintainance. Warm shots of morning sun and an inch of cool watering keeps her all perky this holiday season. [Easy to tell, her pointed leaves are all erect, not drooping.] Every few days, give her that extra surpise: keep her soil acidic with a few spoonful of leftover tea in the kitchen.

Certainly, she is not as dramatically pretty as a Gardenia. [See Bloom Speciemen below] I've raised one pot previously. She simply refused to re-bloom after her spectacular virgin blossom. This flower is blessed both with looks and aroma [most flowering plant has only either]. She also demands more attention, and attract unwanted visitors *bugs! yeek!* in larger flocks. Fertiliser is a must if one wishes to woo her into a blossom again... ...

My conifer cutie is an evergreen. Once you get USED to her ordinary prettiness, she will not disappoint you all year round by fading into a lower grade.

I may even get to see her bear miniature versions of the pine cones which is a classic 'posing tool' for squirrels, oft captured by nature photographers. But if you have a fetish for squirrels with nuts...I recommend you watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory *wink*

But of course, the size of cones my conifer cutie will bear *probably* can be mistaken as a grain of rice turned brown. The only kay-poh creature who would like to carry it away would be idiotic ants... ....

I am seeking someone with a crush on conifers too. Shall we chat over a warm cup of coffee?

A Little Night Education

2005-12-02T08:15:00.000+08:00

VENUE: Komala's @ Peninsular, Coffee Club @ Raffles City
MOOD: Evening well spent

1st Dec, met with Korean maestro for dinner. Walking into CONRAD to pick him up, I became a little flustered, and heavily peppered with excitment.

What was I to expect of an acclaimed musician? Was I ill-prepared to bridge any artistic and intellectual disparity, between an amatuerish me and his professionalism? How the hell did I have the privilege to dine with an elite like he is? I almost cursed the lift bringing him down to stop working but I realised it will only mean he will be in a terrible mood when we eventually meet. A joyful masetro is better... ....

Safe and sound he came, and we met. Dressed in simple class, of white polo tee and beige pants, Bruce quickly put me at ease with his polite, articulate English spoken, and which is in such a comfortable accent to listen to [can!].

A man well informed, I picked up much in our rigorous conversation from Bruce about the ancestry of beautiful people in Korea. Did not know that, it is in statistics, the south-west territories of Sothern Korea has a higher incidence of good-lookers than any where else! I've got to buy a house on that district simply because it is most likely to be also populated with actors... ....

However, this list of actors are exhaustive. Anyone with a better list of darn hot Korean celebrities?