My Chinese Otanjoubi

VENUE: Bedroom
MUSIC: Swaying to *Day Break*

This Lisa Ekdahl's piece articulates my mood most aptly when I am in a good one. In a good mood, my mind has a sense of clarity. Therefore I realise that six posting have gone by, and this very writer has not satisfied curiosity with the 'must-have' introduction of himself.

*shy shy smile* Do I need to?... ... ...*silence*... ... ...Very well, I will take silence as consent *wink*

I was born in the year of the Fire Snake [1977], in the month of Taurus [May] and in the day of the Fire Rat [19th]

For those of you with a thirst for Chinese astrology, seeking to find out accurately which day horoscope you are, you need two tools to help you.

FIRST TOOL: You need a Western-Chinese Calendar Converter. Input your birth date, and it will assign 2 Chinese characters each to your birth year, month, day and hour. This would be the 8 CHARACTER that Chinese has used to chart a person’s character for many moons before Christopher Columbus even discovered America. Please choose a calendar converter based on the Gregorian Calendar unless you are more than 423 years old. In that case, I'm afraid you are a product of the Julian Calendar instead.

The Western horoscope has its own devise to translate your birth year, month, day and hour. But instead of 8 CHARACTER the Western astrology has 12 HOUSES. I have decided against using the Western horoscope because of a [how shall I say this nicely] complication. There are actually 13 star signs and not just 12, as conventional wisdom has dictated. The 13th sign sits between Libra and Scorpio, is known as the Serpent Bearer. This complication draws throbbing pain to my lazy mind, and I turn to the Chinese horoscope with comfort, and without such arithmetic complications.

SECOND TOOL: The HEAVENLY STEM and EARTHLY BRANCHES charts. These 2 charts convert your 8 CHARACTER into familiar concepts such as Yin and Yang, the Five Elements: Metal, Wood, Water, Fire, Earth and the 12 animal signs. By now, you will have enough information to calculate [apply common sense if all else fails] any types of compatibility, from date to job.



ADVANCE TOOL: If you are looking for a good relationship compatibility, the horoscope of your birth year is the least important. The horoscope of your day is the information you need. Followed by the month you were born. Even the hour you crashed into this world is prior to the year in importance. There is a system of logic behind this importance but I am too lazy to post it here. You would have to take my word for it.

ILLUSTRATION: I am born in the day of a Rat. In Chinese animal signs compatibility, the number 6 is a big no-no unless you have a taste for Potter-Malfoy sadism. I would be wise to avoid a person born in the day of a Horse which is 6 animal signs away.

You don’t need a fortune teller to chart your 8 CHARACTER. You only need me. *Count Dracula laughter* Dare you to give your birth details to me to translate. Of course, subjected to avaliability of time and how politely you ask...